ya Allah, we know for You know best,

but, we are really-really not ready for any possibilities. 

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salam reader(s).

Yesterday, 1st July was the first day of being a chambee. But I spilled teh tarik at my boss's newly renovated firm, painted with purple colour, floor wrapped by maroon carpet and the wall was tainted with teh tarik's aroma at last. Sigh.

But that's not what I want to share here. I got a call from my neighbor saying my father passed out at 10.30 a.m. He was sent to the hospital straight away, but I thought that was not serious, since Abah got hypertension and he once passed out when he did some works at home and gotten hurl down of a wood. And for that he received six stitches on his mouth yet he didn't tell his children about that. I only came to know about that when I visited him. Abah is really a strong-man physically and mentally. I never once heard Abah complained about anything. He is the man I adore so much, the one that I can depend on whenever I thought the life is tiring. He never says no to what I ask, and he is the source of wise and wisdom words. 

At 2.30 p.m again I got a call from my sister saying that he was indeed in critical condition. My heart was jumping like, I couldn't even transcribe it into words. I quickly sent a sms to my boss asking for his permission to go back early. I went to fetch my brother at his hostel and Ya Allah, there was sort of karenah-birokrasi I would classify that. Enough said.

Abah was sent to Hospital Sungai Buloh, and my step-mother was with him all the time. We arrived there around 4 p.m, and we was directed to the red zone. Abah is still in comatose state and a doctor came to brief what is actually happening on Abah. There was an internal bleeding on Abah's brain, that is the reason why abah didn't yet conscious. The brain expert said that he will do an operation (which is not-really an operation), and Mak Nani was asked to sign the letter of consent. But he clearly said that the chances that the operation will succeed is 50-50. We were asked to be ready for any possibilities.

Around 7.30 p.m Abah was sent to ICU, but nobody was allowed to come in. We can only visit him after 3 hours. But as far as the operation? We don't know. I was asked by my stepmother to go back home and come again tomorrow. We were in ambivalent about going home, but we realised what could we do even if we were there. She will be telling us Abah's current condition.

And why am I writing here? Because I'm very sad. I'm afraid to think about the possibilities, I haven't repay my father's deeds. I confided to Almighty Him and I confide here. Tears are my best friend right now. I pray the best for him,and may He listen to our prayers

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mood : " Abah, you have to be strong and fight Abah. See, I'm halfway to become a lawyer now. Please allow us to see your charming and amatory smile again. "

Ya Allah, I admit. You know best.